"Do you have kids?"
A man asked me that today. A century or two ago, by the age of 23, I'm sure I would have dozens of children... and maybe a few cows. But it's 2011. Women leave the kitchen and go to college and get jobs and crazy stuff like that. Kids? I'm 23! I've hardly left the stage of "kid" myself (it's debatable, depending on the day).
This isn't the first time I've been asked that, though. Here are the stories of the few times that I have:
1) Today I was doing laundry... as was everyone else in the building. A man waiting for the last few minutes of his things drying made small talk with me... and that was one of the questions he asked me. Kids? Do I look old enough to have kids? I suppose a lot of people in the neighborhood have kids. But no... no I don't. Interestingly enough, this was the first time I've had that "Oh no! Am I starting to look OLD?!?! How old do I look? Do I need to start buying special moisturizer to keep myself young?" panic. Usually I'm celebrating when I can buy an R-rated movie or go to the mall after a certain time without showing my ID; I'm not worried about looking older than I am. Usually...
2) It was probably either my 2nd or 3rd year of college... so I was 19-21-ish. I was riding the bus in Cincinnati and an adorable little toddler/pre-schooler sat in the seat next to me (her mother was behind us) and started talking to me. At some point she asked me, "Do you have a daughter?" I told her I didn't, so she, of course, followed up with a "Why not?" How do you answer a question like that? "Well...I haven't had sex yet."? That wouldn't work... unless her mother has, for some reason, already had "the talk" with her. (And what about the follow-up "why not?" to that?) "I'm only 20..."? I'm not sure how old her mother was. "I'm not married."? I don't know if her mother was married or not. I think I stuttered out a not much better, "Uhh... I haven't found a daddy yet."...which, still might have been a wrong answer, if she didn't have a daddy in her life. But how do you answer a question like that? It wasn't strange that she asked me if I had a daughter, since she was probably 3 years old or something, so everyone over the age of 15 probably seemed to be a "grown-up" to her. Perhaps a "I'm too busy with school" might have worked, even if she didn't understand that answer.
3) And finally... the first time I was ever asked if I had children. I was working at Kings Island at the time, drawing portraits, so I was probably 17 or 18. I believe one of my coworkers was drawing a woman's children and I made a comment on how adorable they were, and she asked me, "Do you have kids of your own?" Either being in high school or being barely out of high school... that was DEFINITELY not something anyone had asked me before... nor anything I had expected to be asked. I of course responded, "No... I'm only 17 (or 18)." My coworkers and I had a good laugh about that one.
I know that technically, I am old enough to produce a child, given the right behaviors and conditions.. and probably have been for more than half my life at this point... but I'm 23! And I live in New York City. Do I have kids? Of course not! a) This city is too expensive without having to pay for children. b) I like staying out past my bedtime... not ready to give that up yet! and, of course, c) I haven't found a daddy for them yet...
Maybe someday... but definitely not today!
Monday, September 5, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Idiotic Things People Do in New York City #4: Busking on subway trains
I'm counting "On rainy days, I wish I had a long, pointy umbrella" as Idiotic Things People Do in New York City #3, so this post will be number four. In case you haven't heard/noticed, I moved to New York City permanently, so now I can whine all the time. Yay!
Music in the subway stations is lovely. Music in the subway cars... not so much. The difference between the two is that it's generally easy to walk away from or ignore the former, if you do not wish to listen, whereas there is no relief from the latter.
About every other day, on at least one of my trips on the subway, a mariachi band will enter the subway car and interrupt the Usher or whatever's playing in my headphones with some loud mariachi music. I can turn up the volume until my eardrums nearly shatter, but even that is not enough to overpower the loud accordion next to my head. I can try walking to another end of the train, if there is room to do so, but then they also walk towards the other end, to make sure than everyone "gets to" hear. And of course these guys board between express stops, so that they have several minutes to force everyone to listen to them.
But it doesn't stop there. After interrupting my semi-peaceful subway ride with their awful noise, they actually have the balls to walk by and ask for money. This confuses me. I'm not sure why I'm supposed to give them money. If anything, I think they should be compensating me for taking up a few minutes of my time.
But let's pretend for a moment that interrupting a complete stranger's subway ride with loud obnoxious music is actually doing them a service of some sort. Even so, it's a bit presumptuous. I didn't ask the mariachi band to board the train. I don't owe them anything for playing. You can't really expect an audience that had no other choice but to hear your music to feel they owe you anything.
And that's my main issue with subway train busking. In a station, on the street, in a park, etc., I can either stand around and listen and chose to drop some money in your bucket, or I can walk away and ignore you. But on the train, I have no choice. I can't leave. I'm being imprisoned to listen to music I do not care for, and my captors expect me to pay them for the "privilege." As I've said before in a status update on Facebook... if I wanted to listen to mariachi music while riding the subway... I'd load some onto my MP3 player. But... I don't.
Music in the subway stations is lovely. Music in the subway cars... not so much. The difference between the two is that it's generally easy to walk away from or ignore the former, if you do not wish to listen, whereas there is no relief from the latter.
About every other day, on at least one of my trips on the subway, a mariachi band will enter the subway car and interrupt the Usher or whatever's playing in my headphones with some loud mariachi music. I can turn up the volume until my eardrums nearly shatter, but even that is not enough to overpower the loud accordion next to my head. I can try walking to another end of the train, if there is room to do so, but then they also walk towards the other end, to make sure than everyone "gets to" hear. And of course these guys board between express stops, so that they have several minutes to force everyone to listen to them.
But it doesn't stop there. After interrupting my semi-peaceful subway ride with their awful noise, they actually have the balls to walk by and ask for money. This confuses me. I'm not sure why I'm supposed to give them money. If anything, I think they should be compensating me for taking up a few minutes of my time.
But let's pretend for a moment that interrupting a complete stranger's subway ride with loud obnoxious music is actually doing them a service of some sort. Even so, it's a bit presumptuous. I didn't ask the mariachi band to board the train. I don't owe them anything for playing. You can't really expect an audience that had no other choice but to hear your music to feel they owe you anything.
And that's my main issue with subway train busking. In a station, on the street, in a park, etc., I can either stand around and listen and chose to drop some money in your bucket, or I can walk away and ignore you. But on the train, I have no choice. I can't leave. I'm being imprisoned to listen to music I do not care for, and my captors expect me to pay them for the "privilege." As I've said before in a status update on Facebook... if I wanted to listen to mariachi music while riding the subway... I'd load some onto my MP3 player. But... I don't.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Ridiculous Advertising #1
I enjoy commercials. Sure, they're rather annoying if you're watching some sort of epic movie on TV with commercial breaks every 5 minutes or when you're watching a reality show and the host is like "And the winner is... going to be revealed after this commercial. HA! Gotcha! *cut to commercial break.*" But even when it's not the Superbowl, many of them have some entertainment value, whether it's because they're genuinely funny or they're awful in a Rebecca Black "Friday" sort of way.
I also sometimes enjoy looking at the ads in magazines more than reading the articles. I think it's interesting to see what strategies companies are taking to try to persuade me to buy their product or use their service.
Some of the strategies are ridiculous, though. Either illogical or incredibly ironic. I'm numbering this post because although I've only come up with three for this post, I'm sure I'll find more over time. So here we go.
1) "Love Your/My Body" by Victoria's Secret
Out of respect for any males who might read my blog, I'm cropping this image, but you can view the whole thing here. Even if you don't view the link, I'm sure you can make a pretty educated guess at what the rest of this image looks like.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but advertising is supposed to try to sell a product, right? Victoria's Secret has never done a very good job of convincing me. See, I like men, a lot, so the female sex appeal thing just doesn't work on me. It just doesn't. And just look at the women in that picture. They look so distressed... maybe a little constipated. That's supposed to entice me to buy a product? It's pretty impressive that Victoria's Secret sells any underwear at all to women... the target audience for their advertising seems to be teenage boys!
I first saw the "Love Your/My Body" (I've seen "your" and "my" used, depending on the context) campaign while I was in San Francisco. My first reaction was "Hmm... I love her body... but mine doesn't look like any of those models. I guess this product is not for me and the only bodies worth loving are the ones that look like that? Wow, Victoria's Secret, thanks for the uplifting message... :("
Among the many roles in advertising, you have Art and Copy. Art creates a visual to a line given by Copy, Copy writes to a visual created by Art, and back and forth until something awesome, legal and client-approved is born. "Love Your/My Body" is ridiculous because of the disconnect between the line "Love Your/My Body" and the visual. Few woman would get the warm fuzzies for their own body after viewing images like that. They can see why the model might love her body, but what does that have to do with them? The line "A Body for Every Body" also appears frequently, next to the images of several women with very similar bodies. Also a disconnect—they say they have a Body bra for every body... but they don't prove it; instead they just show several women with similar bodies. Weird. The disconnect comes from the fact that a line like "Love Your Body" just isn't on-strategy for Victoria's Secret. Victoria's Secret doesn't want women to love their bodies. They want to sell sex, but since prostitution is illegal in most states, they just sell bras and panties instead.
2) Nutella
If you watch TV, you've probably seen this commercial:
I find it pretty funny in this time of talk about the "obesity epidemic," one brand would deviate from the trend of promoting healthy eating and instead spread the message that most people have known for years: When you cover it with sugar, food just tastes better. Especially to children.
Yes, Nutella is a hazelnut spread, but doesn't have a lot of nutritional value. The protein content is pretty pathetic and the primary ingredient is sugar. That's why it's delicious.
So when I watch this commercial, what I see is a mother saying, "I can't stand up to my kids and get them to eat healthy... so I've just going to cover everything in sugar instead!" Yeah... I don't think that's a good idea/way to instill good eating habits in children...
I love Nutella... and Nutella on toast is probably still better than a lot of sugary options... but the message of "the only way to get my kids to eat toast is to cover it in sugar" puts this ad on the list of ridiculous advertising.
3) Above the Influence - "Tree Service"
(Video is no longer online, unfortunately)
WOOHOO! I guess they have finally gotten all the kids out there to stop doing drugs, so they're using their remaining funding to tackle the wasted squirrels epidemic.
If you've ever seen Over The Hedge, you know that the last thing your neighborhood wants/needs is a high squirrel. Squirrels are crazy enough as it is... the last thing we need is them using drugs. So I think Above the Influence has a good mission here... they're just forgetting one key thing:
Squirrels don't watch TV!
I also didn't know squirrels got high, but if it's on TV, it must be true... right?
I also sometimes enjoy looking at the ads in magazines more than reading the articles. I think it's interesting to see what strategies companies are taking to try to persuade me to buy their product or use their service.
Some of the strategies are ridiculous, though. Either illogical or incredibly ironic. I'm numbering this post because although I've only come up with three for this post, I'm sure I'll find more over time. So here we go.
1) "Love Your/My Body" by Victoria's Secret
Out of respect for any males who might read my blog, I'm cropping this image, but you can view the whole thing here. Even if you don't view the link, I'm sure you can make a pretty educated guess at what the rest of this image looks like.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but advertising is supposed to try to sell a product, right? Victoria's Secret has never done a very good job of convincing me. See, I like men, a lot, so the female sex appeal thing just doesn't work on me. It just doesn't. And just look at the women in that picture. They look so distressed... maybe a little constipated. That's supposed to entice me to buy a product? It's pretty impressive that Victoria's Secret sells any underwear at all to women... the target audience for their advertising seems to be teenage boys!
I first saw the "Love Your/My Body" (I've seen "your" and "my" used, depending on the context) campaign while I was in San Francisco. My first reaction was "Hmm... I love her body... but mine doesn't look like any of those models. I guess this product is not for me and the only bodies worth loving are the ones that look like that? Wow, Victoria's Secret, thanks for the uplifting message... :("
Among the many roles in advertising, you have Art and Copy. Art creates a visual to a line given by Copy, Copy writes to a visual created by Art, and back and forth until something awesome, legal and client-approved is born. "Love Your/My Body" is ridiculous because of the disconnect between the line "Love Your/My Body" and the visual. Few woman would get the warm fuzzies for their own body after viewing images like that. They can see why the model might love her body, but what does that have to do with them? The line "A Body for Every Body" also appears frequently, next to the images of several women with very similar bodies. Also a disconnect—they say they have a Body bra for every body... but they don't prove it; instead they just show several women with similar bodies. Weird. The disconnect comes from the fact that a line like "Love Your Body" just isn't on-strategy for Victoria's Secret. Victoria's Secret doesn't want women to love their bodies. They want to sell sex, but since prostitution is illegal in most states, they just sell bras and panties instead.
2) Nutella
If you watch TV, you've probably seen this commercial:
I find it pretty funny in this time of talk about the "obesity epidemic," one brand would deviate from the trend of promoting healthy eating and instead spread the message that most people have known for years: When you cover it with sugar, food just tastes better. Especially to children.
Yes, Nutella is a hazelnut spread, but doesn't have a lot of nutritional value. The protein content is pretty pathetic and the primary ingredient is sugar. That's why it's delicious.
So when I watch this commercial, what I see is a mother saying, "I can't stand up to my kids and get them to eat healthy... so I've just going to cover everything in sugar instead!" Yeah... I don't think that's a good idea/way to instill good eating habits in children...
I love Nutella... and Nutella on toast is probably still better than a lot of sugary options... but the message of "the only way to get my kids to eat toast is to cover it in sugar" puts this ad on the list of ridiculous advertising.
3) Above the Influence - "Tree Service"
(Video is no longer online, unfortunately)
WOOHOO! I guess they have finally gotten all the kids out there to stop doing drugs, so they're using their remaining funding to tackle the wasted squirrels epidemic.
If you've ever seen Over The Hedge, you know that the last thing your neighborhood wants/needs is a high squirrel. Squirrels are crazy enough as it is... the last thing we need is them using drugs. So I think Above the Influence has a good mission here... they're just forgetting one key thing:
Squirrels don't watch TV!
I also didn't know squirrels got high, but if it's on TV, it must be true... right?
Thursday, June 16, 2011
"Awww... that's fun": My least favorite responses to what I do
I remember the first time I was asked "What do you do?" It was at the first Wednesday swing dance I attended in Dayton, Ohio... July 2008. I was twenty years old, had just finished my second year of college, and thought to myself, "Oh wow... I'm old enough to DO something!" Over the years, the answer has varied... being as vague as "student" to as specific as "I'm a graphic design intern at an environmental signage and wayfinding design firm" (no one has ANY idea was that is). This past winter I even stopped saying student and just called myself a "graphic designer." However, aside from my general dislike of small talk, I sometimes dread the question, "What do you do?" Why? Frankly, I've gotten tired of many of the typical responses to "I'm a graphic designer." or "I work at a [insert brief description here]." Most likely, I just need to work on a better answer to that question myself, but here's a list, in no particular order, of the responses that sometimes bug me, and why:
1) "What's that?"
This is typically a response to one of my more descriptive responses... which apparently aren't descriptive enough. I think this will actually stop being annoying, now that I have pretty straight-forward job description... "I'm a junior art director at a pharmaceutical ad agency." Yep, that's right—I push drugs. But explaining why on earth a sign would need someone to design it? That got boring after awhile. Explaining it was fine the first few times, but after awhile, I started wishing for a much more straight-forward job description—"I cook fries at McDonald's." or "I teach fifth graders Spanish." Or maybe it was that, sometimes, as an intern, my job description sometimes wasn't very exciting—"Basically, I do what the other employees don't really want to do themselves" (Okay, so maybe that wasn't really the case at most of my internships) or "Well, I sift through the topless ladies on Getty Images and find suitable images for my supervisor's presentation" (Oh, I guess that is kinda interesting). But the point is, I suppose any question, in any context, that requires an answer longer than about three words, gets old after you've answered it five times already in one week.
2) "Oh, that sounds fun..."
I think we should all try to find enjoyment in our professions. If you spend 40+ hours a week at work, hopefully you like it well enough most of the time, right? The reason this type of response makes my pet peeve list is the tone in which it's usually said—something about it suggests a lack of respect for my profession. It's as though the person is suggesting that some people actually work, and graphic designers are just paid to sit down with a box of crayons and color (and don't get me started on the people who flat out suggest that...). It's not that simple. We're problem solvers. There are challenges and pressures at work, just like anywhere. Sometimes it's awesome... and sometimes its tedious. It is fun, but it is work, and I had to go to college, work hard and get a degree to do it. Yes, I enjoy my job, but I hope you do too!
3) "Oh, I could never do that. I can't even draw a stick figure!"
Well first of all, I'm sure you can draw a perfectly lovely stick figure, and second, have you ever tried? While it's true that some people either are or aren't cut out for certain jobs, based on personality traits (I could never act; I'd feel embarrassed and I can't keep a straight face), a lot of others can be taught. My degree program doesn't require a student to draw anything in order to be admitted; as long as you fill out an application and have good grades and test scores, you have a chance of getting in. As I mentioned in "Lessons Learned During College," you're paying the school the big bucks to teach you something. Also, I once had someone imply that graphic design was a performing art—yeah, no, not really. We're usually not performing and graphic design degree ≠ fine arts degree. Not to say graphic design is not creative work, but my degree actually doesn't even have "art" in it (it's a Bachelor of Science degree). Perhaps "Oh, I could never do that. I hate computers and paper and pencils and colors and fonts and photos and words!" might be a more valid argument. I'm flattered that you think what I do is special and that I must have some natural talent to do it (maybe I do, maybe I don't)... but for whatever reason, I feel like I have to correct this misconception. I think it goes back to the "I had to go to college, work hard and get a degree to do it" thing.
4) "Oh, so you're like real good with the Photoshop and stuff..."
Yes. Yes I am. Give me $50 and I'll photoshop your roommate's face into Donald Trump's hairstyle. Okay, so this isn't necessarily annoying, but the lack of knowledge amuses me. Yes, I use photoshop, but I also use programs you've never even heard of even more often. But it's okay. I'm also ignorant of other people's professions. I think that wearing socks that come halfway up your calves with shorts comes with the job description of "IT guy" and that telemarketers have no souls. I also get really, really confused when I see a nun in "normal" clothing.
5) "Oh, my niece does that."
I don't know if attending a school with DAAP's reputation has made me unnecessarily cocky or if the copious amounts of questionable ads for graphic design school I've seen online have made me skeptical, but when you say that, I picture your niece sitting down to Microsoft Word and playing with WordArt. Maybe she did actually attend a decent school school and can easily distinguish Univers from Helvetica, or maybe she's 13 and downloaded a cracked version of Photoshop and made something really sparkly that looks like this:
Yeah, don't even get me started on the "I can use a computer, therefore I'm a graphic designer." Or even worse: "I have Photoshop, therefore I'm a graphic designer." Putting on a tutu doesn't make me a ballerina and owning a soccer ball doesn't make me a soccer player. Hey look, I bought a scalpel; I am now qualified to do brain surgery! No... just... no. It doesn't work that way, and I feel like the "Oh, my niece does that" conversation usually happens with adults who are older and think that anyone who can use Microsoft Office is a graphic designer. Then there's the awkward conversation where I prod further and find out the niece actually does something completely different ("No... actually graphic designers and Target employees don't do that same thing...")
So what are the correct responses? Well again, I think the asking more specific questions will be less annoying now, since I have a real, grown-up job with a more straight-forward description. So moving forward, you can disregard #1. Woohoo! For #2... just try to keep anything implying that you don't think graphic design is a "real job" to yourself. A simple "Oh, cool!" will suffice. #3 through #5 pretty much fall under the "don't pretend to know what you're talking about if you really don't; just smile and nod" category. A simple improvement on #5 is to be more specific—"Oh, my niece designs Coke cans!" or "My nephew's studying something like that at RISD!" And at least a straight-forward "My brother does that; he's an expert with Microsoft Word" leads to me to a very accurate conclusion :-)
Okay, fine, so maybe it's just that after at least an eight hour day of talking graphic design at work, I'm ready for a change of subject.
Yes, I'm a graphic designer. Yes, I can use Photoshop. And yes, I thought the logo redesign for Gap was HILARIOUS. Happy?
1) "What's that?"
This is typically a response to one of my more descriptive responses... which apparently aren't descriptive enough. I think this will actually stop being annoying, now that I have pretty straight-forward job description... "I'm a junior art director at a pharmaceutical ad agency." Yep, that's right—I push drugs. But explaining why on earth a sign would need someone to design it? That got boring after awhile. Explaining it was fine the first few times, but after awhile, I started wishing for a much more straight-forward job description—"I cook fries at McDonald's." or "I teach fifth graders Spanish." Or maybe it was that, sometimes, as an intern, my job description sometimes wasn't very exciting—"Basically, I do what the other employees don't really want to do themselves" (Okay, so maybe that wasn't really the case at most of my internships) or "Well, I sift through the topless ladies on Getty Images and find suitable images for my supervisor's presentation" (Oh, I guess that is kinda interesting). But the point is, I suppose any question, in any context, that requires an answer longer than about three words, gets old after you've answered it five times already in one week.
2) "Oh, that sounds fun..."
I think we should all try to find enjoyment in our professions. If you spend 40+ hours a week at work, hopefully you like it well enough most of the time, right? The reason this type of response makes my pet peeve list is the tone in which it's usually said—something about it suggests a lack of respect for my profession. It's as though the person is suggesting that some people actually work, and graphic designers are just paid to sit down with a box of crayons and color (and don't get me started on the people who flat out suggest that...). It's not that simple. We're problem solvers. There are challenges and pressures at work, just like anywhere. Sometimes it's awesome... and sometimes its tedious. It is fun, but it is work, and I had to go to college, work hard and get a degree to do it. Yes, I enjoy my job, but I hope you do too!
3) "Oh, I could never do that. I can't even draw a stick figure!"
Well first of all, I'm sure you can draw a perfectly lovely stick figure, and second, have you ever tried? While it's true that some people either are or aren't cut out for certain jobs, based on personality traits (I could never act; I'd feel embarrassed and I can't keep a straight face), a lot of others can be taught. My degree program doesn't require a student to draw anything in order to be admitted; as long as you fill out an application and have good grades and test scores, you have a chance of getting in. As I mentioned in "Lessons Learned During College," you're paying the school the big bucks to teach you something. Also, I once had someone imply that graphic design was a performing art—yeah, no, not really. We're usually not performing and graphic design degree ≠ fine arts degree. Not to say graphic design is not creative work, but my degree actually doesn't even have "art" in it (it's a Bachelor of Science degree). Perhaps "Oh, I could never do that. I hate computers and paper and pencils and colors and fonts and photos and words!" might be a more valid argument. I'm flattered that you think what I do is special and that I must have some natural talent to do it (maybe I do, maybe I don't)... but for whatever reason, I feel like I have to correct this misconception. I think it goes back to the "I had to go to college, work hard and get a degree to do it" thing.
4) "Oh, so you're like real good with the Photoshop and stuff..."
Yes. Yes I am. Give me $50 and I'll photoshop your roommate's face into Donald Trump's hairstyle. Okay, so this isn't necessarily annoying, but the lack of knowledge amuses me. Yes, I use photoshop, but I also use programs you've never even heard of even more often. But it's okay. I'm also ignorant of other people's professions. I think that wearing socks that come halfway up your calves with shorts comes with the job description of "IT guy" and that telemarketers have no souls. I also get really, really confused when I see a nun in "normal" clothing.
5) "Oh, my niece does that."
I don't know if attending a school with DAAP's reputation has made me unnecessarily cocky or if the copious amounts of questionable ads for graphic design school I've seen online have made me skeptical, but when you say that, I picture your niece sitting down to Microsoft Word and playing with WordArt. Maybe she did actually attend a decent school school and can easily distinguish Univers from Helvetica, or maybe she's 13 and downloaded a cracked version of Photoshop and made something really sparkly that looks like this:
Yeah, don't even get me started on the "I can use a computer, therefore I'm a graphic designer." Or even worse: "I have Photoshop, therefore I'm a graphic designer." Putting on a tutu doesn't make me a ballerina and owning a soccer ball doesn't make me a soccer player. Hey look, I bought a scalpel; I am now qualified to do brain surgery! No... just... no. It doesn't work that way, and I feel like the "Oh, my niece does that" conversation usually happens with adults who are older and think that anyone who can use Microsoft Office is a graphic designer. Then there's the awkward conversation where I prod further and find out the niece actually does something completely different ("No... actually graphic designers and Target employees don't do that same thing...")
So what are the correct responses? Well again, I think the asking more specific questions will be less annoying now, since I have a real, grown-up job with a more straight-forward description. So moving forward, you can disregard #1. Woohoo! For #2... just try to keep anything implying that you don't think graphic design is a "real job" to yourself. A simple "Oh, cool!" will suffice. #3 through #5 pretty much fall under the "don't pretend to know what you're talking about if you really don't; just smile and nod" category. A simple improvement on #5 is to be more specific—"Oh, my niece designs Coke cans!" or "My nephew's studying something like that at RISD!" And at least a straight-forward "My brother does that; he's an expert with Microsoft Word" leads to me to a very accurate conclusion :-)
Okay, fine, so maybe it's just that after at least an eight hour day of talking graphic design at work, I'm ready for a change of subject.
Yes, I'm a graphic designer. Yes, I can use Photoshop. And yes, I thought the logo redesign for Gap was HILARIOUS. Happy?
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Why I look sixteen years old (and you probably do too) Part 2
This blog post was pretty popular and Pretty Little Liars is starting its 2nd season next week, so I thought I'd add on to it!
4. Pretty Little Liars
This series began last summer and as far as I can tell, the girls are supposed to be 16 years old. My guess is the high school guys are also also supposed to be 16, or maybe 17. For this post, I'm going to use their ages on the release date of the series—June 8, 2010.
From left to right:
Spencer Hastings (Troian Bellisario): 24
Aria Montgomery (Lucy Hale): Almost 21
Emily Fields (Shay Mitchell): 23
Hannah Marin (Ashley Benson): 20
Oddly enough, Alison DiLaurentis, the dead one, is played by Sasha Pieterse, who was 14 at the time of the show's release.
Maya St. Germain, played by Bianca Lawson was 31 at the time of the show's release. Almost twice her character's age!
I was having a hard time finding a few of the boys' ages, but here's a couple:
Toby Cavanaugh (Keegan Allen): Almost 21
Caleb Rivers (Tyler Blackburn): His first appearance was in 2011 and he is 24.
Noel Kahn (Brant Daugherty): almost 25
So again, most of the high school students are played by actors around my age!
4. Pretty Little Liars
This series began last summer and as far as I can tell, the girls are supposed to be 16 years old. My guess is the high school guys are also also supposed to be 16, or maybe 17. For this post, I'm going to use their ages on the release date of the series—June 8, 2010.
Spencer Hastings (Troian Bellisario): 24
Aria Montgomery (Lucy Hale): Almost 21
Emily Fields (Shay Mitchell): 23
Hannah Marin (Ashley Benson): 20
Oddly enough, Alison DiLaurentis, the dead one, is played by Sasha Pieterse, who was 14 at the time of the show's release.
I was having a hard time finding a few of the boys' ages, but here's a couple:
Toby Cavanaugh (Keegan Allen): Almost 21
So again, most of the high school students are played by actors around my age!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Lessons Learned During College
One week of school left... Two weeks until graduation. Yes, it's true! The end of my five-year* design program is near! So, I thought I'd make a list of things I've learned through the years. No particular order.
*Yes, it is a real five year program. I'm not behind—I actually finished all my elective requirements year four. Six internship quarters stretch a four year program out to five. :-P
1. You don't spend thousands of dollars and five years of your life to become "official" at doing something you already know how to do—you do it to learn.
2. State schools do not offer the MRS degree program. Go to Christian college for that.
3. If you're a design major... your GPA is really not that important. Your portfolio is.
4. It's okay to take advantage of ALL the free stuff—don't feel guilty. And thanks to television, you can probably pass for a freshman all 4, 5, 6... etc years.
5. AppleCare... is worth the money.
6. Mac users and PC users will never get along. Or, they can, as long as they don't discuss computers.
7. Back up your files often. Best case scenario... you'll be reminded to when your classmate's laptop starts smoking during class... Worst case scenario... your laptop with start smoking during class.
8. If you're not a night owl, don't rent an apartment near the frat houses.
9. Living on campus freshman year is worth the money.
10. UC[incinnati]'s campus is like the city of San Francisco: two places might not look far from each other on a map, but then you realize that somehow, it actually is uphill both ways.
11. It is possible to stay up multiple nights in a row. Just keep drinking caffeine.
12. ...but beware of cheap, sketchy off-brand energy drinks...
13. If you're headed to campus around 11 pm to work on a project... bring a toothbrush and change of clothing.
14. X-acto blades are really sharp.
15. You will probably see more manparts graffiti'd on campus than in art history class slides.
16. The worst place to live is under a room occupied by football players. And don't think you're safe if they're not directly above you... I lived on the 2nd floor and would be bothered by noise coming from the 5th floor football players.
17. College should not feel like high school. If it does, you're hanging out with the wrong people.
18. Ratemyprofessors.com is your friend. Use it when signing up for classes. Write reviews to help those who come after you out.
19. No matter how awesome you were in high school, you probably won't get straight A's every quarter in college. Some professors just grade hard.
and finally... since I am running out of ideas... I'll end at 20:
20. Cincinnati natives... People from out of town have no idea what you're talking about when you mention playing cornhole or eating a 3-way. They will think dirty things.
*Yes, it is a real five year program. I'm not behind—I actually finished all my elective requirements year four. Six internship quarters stretch a four year program out to five. :-P
1. You don't spend thousands of dollars and five years of your life to become "official" at doing something you already know how to do—you do it to learn.
2. State schools do not offer the MRS degree program. Go to Christian college for that.
3. If you're a design major... your GPA is really not that important. Your portfolio is.
4. It's okay to take advantage of ALL the free stuff—don't feel guilty. And thanks to television, you can probably pass for a freshman all 4, 5, 6... etc years.
5. AppleCare... is worth the money.
6. Mac users and PC users will never get along. Or, they can, as long as they don't discuss computers.
7. Back up your files often. Best case scenario... you'll be reminded to when your classmate's laptop starts smoking during class... Worst case scenario... your laptop with start smoking during class.
8. If you're not a night owl, don't rent an apartment near the frat houses.
9. Living on campus freshman year is worth the money.
10. UC[incinnati]'s campus is like the city of San Francisco: two places might not look far from each other on a map, but then you realize that somehow, it actually is uphill both ways.
11. It is possible to stay up multiple nights in a row. Just keep drinking caffeine.
12. ...but beware of cheap, sketchy off-brand energy drinks...
13. If you're headed to campus around 11 pm to work on a project... bring a toothbrush and change of clothing.
14. X-acto blades are really sharp.
15. You will probably see more manparts graffiti'd on campus than in art history class slides.
16. The worst place to live is under a room occupied by football players. And don't think you're safe if they're not directly above you... I lived on the 2nd floor and would be bothered by noise coming from the 5th floor football players.
17. College should not feel like high school. If it does, you're hanging out with the wrong people.
18. Ratemyprofessors.com is your friend. Use it when signing up for classes. Write reviews to help those who come after you out.
19. No matter how awesome you were in high school, you probably won't get straight A's every quarter in college. Some professors just grade hard.
and finally... since I am running out of ideas... I'll end at 20:
20. Cincinnati natives... People from out of town have no idea what you're talking about when you mention playing cornhole or eating a 3-way. They will think dirty things.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Creeper Tales #2: Divide by 2 and add 7
Apparently some of the best stories I have are those that come from several years of dancing in a number of cities. Every once in awhile and more often than I'd like, I come across "that guy"... the "creeper"... those he's rarely "the creeper"... he's usually "a creeper," since he's probably not the only one. Every scene has one, and maybe even a half dozen or dozen, depending on the size of the scene. Now, out of respect to these individuals, who probably already have bad enough reputations, I will leave out names, locations, and any other descriptive details not necessary for the telling of the story. Chances are, these stories are not unique to me—or the "creepy leads" involved, so really... it could be anyone, anywhere. I am also titling these "creeper tales," since I have plenty of off-the-dance-floor stories too, especially from my teenage summers working at Kings Island, so maybe those will get told sometime as well.
Creeper Tales #2: Divide by 2 and add 7
There's nothing wrong with a little flirtation in the dance setting... as long as the subject is okay with it. Now, there are all sorts of discussions to be had about determining whether it's wanted by reading signals, body language, etc... but for this post, I'm addressing the aspect of age and the Standard Creepiness Rule.
For those of you unfamiliar with the Standard Creepiness Rule, the comic below references it:
"Standard Creepiness Rule: Don't date under age divided by 2... plus 7"
Now with harmless flirtation, this can probably be a little more flexible, but not as much as some men would hope. What does this mean for me and my creeper stories? I'll work backwards to find the maximum age of men who have any business flirting with me.
To give the men the best possible scenario, let's pretend I actually look my age. 23 - 7 = 16. 16 x 2 = 32. Though now that I think of it, I was 22 at the oldest when any of my old guy creeper events occurred, so 22 - 7 = 15. 15 x 2 = 30. So technically, according to the Standard Creepiness Rule, it was "creepy" for any guy older than 30 to date me... but flirting may have been permissible for men as old as their mid-30s. Men in their 40s and 50s however... absolutely not. Men in theirs 40s and 50s are old enough to be my father. Ewww. And the following stories involve men at least that old.
To again clarify where I am finding fault/creepiness with the following situations... it's the age thing. Had I been 40... these may have merely been cases of really bad pick-up lines... but since I'm 23 and barely look my age... it's just creepy.
Situation #1
The lead, who was probably in his 40s at the youngest, offered me his arm. I accepted. He said, "You accepted. We are about to begin a 4 minute relationship." I was speechless. He continued, "Unless it's a 10 minute song... then it'll be a 10 minute relationship." At that point, I almost "broke up" with him. Being likely half his age... I was not interested with a relationship with him of any length.
(Fun fact: after hearing other stories about this lead... I didn't have it so bad... but this post is about my creeper tales.)
Situation #2
If you know me well at all... you know I am not fond of mustaches. When a man in his late 40s or so with a large mustache asked me to dance... my mustache-hating instincts told me to decline him, but I decided to be polite and non-judgmental... and accepted. And then he proved my creeper instincts right when he said, "Now don't you take advantage of me." Wow. Now I don't know WHERE he got the idea that I'm in the practice of taking advantage of older men... but I was offended... and grossed out. Even if I was the type to take advantage of older men... Hugh Laurie and George Clooney are the only men who should be worried... definitely not this mustache guy. Again, I was at a loss for words, so I just said, "What does that even mean?" Ironically, this was followed by 4 or 5 minutes of 6th grade dance-type awkwardness... about a foot apart, not even touching, just shifting weight. Awkward.
Situation #3
This could also be filed under "How not to ask a follow to dance." I was about to exit the room when I felt a light tug on my ponytail. I was inclined to continue my exit, but concerned that there might be more tugging, I turned around, even though I already knew what the question and my answer would be. Again, this involved a man at least old enough to be my father. He asked me to dance. I said, "No thank you." He replied, "What?" Again I said, "No thank you." And then I exited the room. A few minutes later, while I was in the hallway, he came out and said, "Are you mad at me?" Which was strange... since I didn't even know the man. I think we'd danced once. I said, "I didn't appreciate the way you asked me." He replied, "Your back was turned. I thought it'd be cute." Cute? Really? Tugging on the ponytail of a girl at least twenty years younger than you is CUTE?! Do you go to the playground and tug on the pigtails of the little girls there? It's not cute. It's creepy. I didn't say that to him though. I just said, "Ask me to my face next time." Leads... even if he had been my age... yeah... just, no. Unless you and the girl have that kind of relationship... don't ask with a ponytail tug.
Lessons for leads
If you're bad at math... think of it this way. Would you appreciate a man your age flirting with your daughter or niece? If you're good at math... then when it comes to flirting, consider the Standard Creepiness Rule. Take your age, divide it by 2, then add 7. Now look at the girl. Do you think she's at least that age? Would you put money on it? Or is there a good chance she's younger? Is she young enough you'd worry about her father showing up and kicking your butt? Are you old enough to be her father? Are you George Clooney? You're old enough to be her father and you're not George Clooney? Then... she probably doesn't want your flirtation/awkward pick-up lines. And you don't want the reputation of being the "creepy old guy who hits on the younger girls." (And if you DO want that reputation... I can't help you.)
I'm 23. I don't look it. I don't feel it—I eat cereal with cute cartoon animals on the box, I watch Disney movies, I wear brightly colored mismatched socks AND I still haven't had my first kiss. So when a man old enough to be my father tries to flirt with me, the first thing that comes to mind is "OMG GROSS!" Then I remember I am over 18, so nothing's illegal... but it still makes me uncomfortable. So be friendly, but avoid pick-up lines and references to "relationships" or "taking advantage of" or anything else of the sort... and never, ever, ever tug a stranger's ponytail when asking her to dance. Ever.
Creeper Tales #2: Divide by 2 and add 7
There's nothing wrong with a little flirtation in the dance setting... as long as the subject is okay with it. Now, there are all sorts of discussions to be had about determining whether it's wanted by reading signals, body language, etc... but for this post, I'm addressing the aspect of age and the Standard Creepiness Rule.
For those of you unfamiliar with the Standard Creepiness Rule, the comic below references it:
"Standard Creepiness Rule: Don't date under age divided by 2... plus 7"
Now with harmless flirtation, this can probably be a little more flexible, but not as much as some men would hope. What does this mean for me and my creeper stories? I'll work backwards to find the maximum age of men who have any business flirting with me.
To give the men the best possible scenario, let's pretend I actually look my age. 23 - 7 = 16. 16 x 2 = 32. Though now that I think of it, I was 22 at the oldest when any of my old guy creeper events occurred, so 22 - 7 = 15. 15 x 2 = 30. So technically, according to the Standard Creepiness Rule, it was "creepy" for any guy older than 30 to date me... but flirting may have been permissible for men as old as their mid-30s. Men in their 40s and 50s however... absolutely not. Men in theirs 40s and 50s are old enough to be my father. Ewww. And the following stories involve men at least that old.
To again clarify where I am finding fault/creepiness with the following situations... it's the age thing. Had I been 40... these may have merely been cases of really bad pick-up lines... but since I'm 23 and barely look my age... it's just creepy.
Situation #1
The lead, who was probably in his 40s at the youngest, offered me his arm. I accepted. He said, "You accepted. We are about to begin a 4 minute relationship." I was speechless. He continued, "Unless it's a 10 minute song... then it'll be a 10 minute relationship." At that point, I almost "broke up" with him. Being likely half his age... I was not interested with a relationship with him of any length.
(Fun fact: after hearing other stories about this lead... I didn't have it so bad... but this post is about my creeper tales.)
Situation #2
If you know me well at all... you know I am not fond of mustaches. When a man in his late 40s or so with a large mustache asked me to dance... my mustache-hating instincts told me to decline him, but I decided to be polite and non-judgmental... and accepted. And then he proved my creeper instincts right when he said, "Now don't you take advantage of me." Wow. Now I don't know WHERE he got the idea that I'm in the practice of taking advantage of older men... but I was offended... and grossed out. Even if I was the type to take advantage of older men... Hugh Laurie and George Clooney are the only men who should be worried... definitely not this mustache guy. Again, I was at a loss for words, so I just said, "What does that even mean?" Ironically, this was followed by 4 or 5 minutes of 6th grade dance-type awkwardness... about a foot apart, not even touching, just shifting weight. Awkward.
Situation #3
This could also be filed under "How not to ask a follow to dance." I was about to exit the room when I felt a light tug on my ponytail. I was inclined to continue my exit, but concerned that there might be more tugging, I turned around, even though I already knew what the question and my answer would be. Again, this involved a man at least old enough to be my father. He asked me to dance. I said, "No thank you." He replied, "What?" Again I said, "No thank you." And then I exited the room. A few minutes later, while I was in the hallway, he came out and said, "Are you mad at me?" Which was strange... since I didn't even know the man. I think we'd danced once. I said, "I didn't appreciate the way you asked me." He replied, "Your back was turned. I thought it'd be cute." Cute? Really? Tugging on the ponytail of a girl at least twenty years younger than you is CUTE?! Do you go to the playground and tug on the pigtails of the little girls there? It's not cute. It's creepy. I didn't say that to him though. I just said, "Ask me to my face next time." Leads... even if he had been my age... yeah... just, no. Unless you and the girl have that kind of relationship... don't ask with a ponytail tug.
Lessons for leads
If you're bad at math... think of it this way. Would you appreciate a man your age flirting with your daughter or niece? If you're good at math... then when it comes to flirting, consider the Standard Creepiness Rule. Take your age, divide it by 2, then add 7. Now look at the girl. Do you think she's at least that age? Would you put money on it? Or is there a good chance she's younger? Is she young enough you'd worry about her father showing up and kicking your butt? Are you old enough to be her father? Are you George Clooney? You're old enough to be her father and you're not George Clooney? Then... she probably doesn't want your flirtation/awkward pick-up lines. And you don't want the reputation of being the "creepy old guy who hits on the younger girls." (And if you DO want that reputation... I can't help you.)
I'm 23. I don't look it. I don't feel it—I eat cereal with cute cartoon animals on the box, I watch Disney movies, I wear brightly colored mismatched socks AND I still haven't had my first kiss. So when a man old enough to be my father tries to flirt with me, the first thing that comes to mind is "OMG GROSS!" Then I remember I am over 18, so nothing's illegal... but it still makes me uncomfortable. So be friendly, but avoid pick-up lines and references to "relationships" or "taking advantage of" or anything else of the sort... and never, ever, ever tug a stranger's ponytail when asking her to dance. Ever.
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