Dance-related #2: How to be that creepy guy

Ever feel like you're invisible in your dance scene? You've been coming out for awhile, but no one seems to know your name? No matter how hard you try, you just aren't exceptional enough to stand out on a crowded dance floor? Wish there was a way to be memorable, even without talent? Well... guess what! There is! If you can't be "that awesome guy," you can be "that creepy guy." Here are a few pointers to help you be memorable.

1) Don't shower and/or use deodorant ever again. 
As soon as you walk onto the dance floor, you will have everybody's attention. Even people who aren't looking your way will drop everything they're doing to ask, "Who is that?" Follows won't have to search for you on the crowded dance floor... they will know exactly where you are... at all times.

2) Wear the same outfit every time you go out dancing.

You know how you meet someone and have no problem remembering their name that day... but completely forget it the next time you see them because they're wearing something completely different? This is pretty much the same. The follows will remember your name with much more ease if you're wearing the same outfit each time they see you. It will also help if the outfit is particularly quirky and memorable... such as a "denim tuxedo" or a T-shirt with a raunchy message. This strategy also carries with it a sense of mystery. Every follow will be wondering, "Does he own a dozen identical denim shirts... or does he just never do laundry?"

3) Sneak-attack ask follows.

Most people love surprises. Follows are no different. Making eye-contact and asking politely at a socially acceptable distance is so commonplace and predictable. To be memorable, instead look for those unique asking techniques. Maybe grab the follow's hip. Or approach from behind and wrap your arm around her waist. Or if you really want to spice things up... yank her hair. She will never forget it. And if you find you favor one technique over another, use it on every follow, every time. Not only will everyone know who you are, but you'll earn a cool nickname, like "Ponytail-yankin Peter" or "Grabby Gary."

4) Dance pelvis-forward close-embrace blues* at a swing dance.

Follows get so bored of the same lindy and charleston dances... they all begin to feel the same after awhile. If you want a follow's dance with you to be the most memorable one of the evening, spring some pelvis-forward close-embrace blues in a song where she would least expect it. It will particularly stand out if the song is not suggesting it at all. That'll also show your exceptional creativity... you don't need the music to give you hints about want you can do... you come up with it all on your own.

Use these four techniques and before you know it, everyone will know who you are. And the newbies that don't... well, you'll just have to introduce yourself to them as soon as possible!

*Note to my non-dance friends who won't understand the reference... "pelvis-forward close-embrace blues" is not a socially acceptable form of dance... ever. Especially when not musically appropriate.

Dance-related #1: Things I never, ever, EVER want to hear leads say

I am no dance etiquette pro, but these are just a few pet peeves, in no particular order, from a follow's perspective, collected over almost 3 years of social dance experience.

1. "Would you like to try?"
It is not uncommon for newer leads to approach me and ask in this fashion. However, what I hear is "Hi, I'm not very good and I really don't expect you to be either." Alrighty then. I'll give you 5%, since after all, you're only asking me to "try." Asking in this manner sets a negative tone for the dance before it even begins. If you would like to disclose that it is your first time or you are fairly new, then just say so. But ask me if I would like to dance. Do not ask me if I'd like to "try."
(Quick edit/note: This is different than "Hi, I'm new, would you like to dance?" or "Hey, this is my third time and I'm still not entirely sure what I'm doing." Those statements are more than valid and don't make any assumptions that my dancing isn't good. I'm objecting to the particular phrasing "would you like to try?" because of the "you" focus of it.)

2. "Can I give you some advice on your dancing?" (or other non-safety issue unsolicited feedback, at a social dance)
Immediately, that suggests to me that you did not enjoy our dance. If that is the case, ignorance is bliss; I'd rather not know. Even if that's not the case, just knowing that you were thinking about something I was doing incorrectly during our dance will make me self-conscious for the rest of the evening. I'm there to have fun—unless I'm like, clamping your right leg and completely cutting off circulation or something else dangerous, just let me have fun and keep your mouth shut. I take classes to learn/get feedback. Social dances are supposed to be fun.

3. "We are about to begin a 4 minute relationship." (Or anything else implying that it is anything more than a dance)
If I don't know you, this is awkward. If you're twice my age, this is creepy. Odds are good, I did not say yes because I'm sexually attracted to you. It's just a dance. Two people (hopefully) connecting to the music together. It's supposed to be fun. Don't make it uncomfortable.

4. "What other moves do you know?" (maybe not a "never, ever, ever" thing, but not a question I like to be asked)
I focus on following well, not cataloging every move that a lead has ever led with me. I can show you an inside turn, an outside turn, and the cuddle in East Coast swing. Beyond that, I do not remember what the lead was doing... I was just following/dancing. Sorry!

5. "Do you know the pretzel?"
...I eat pretzels...
(Pretzel usually results in more ow than fun. Let's not and not even say we did, either.)

6. "You're supposed to turn... remember?" (in lessons, usually)
For the most part, I don't "remember" to turn. I follow what you lead. If I don't feel the lead, and I'm trying to follow as honestly as possible because it's a class, I won't turn. If any part of it is my error, the error is not me "forgetting." The only time I "remember" to turn is when it's 4 in the morning and I'm also having to remember to stand up and to stay awake.